And, Isn't It Ironic?

The questions and answers on an insurance claim form were:

"Q: What warning was given by you?

A: Horn.

"Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo."

--An insurance questionnaire where a claimant had collided with a cow.

OK. So I have to say that in my 13 years of driving, I've never hit a car and have it be my fault. But if I am opening up "Honesty Hour" with you all, I must admit to the things I HAVE hit. While I was not aiming for the following, I did kill a few things with my car being the weapon.

1. There was the road trip my dad, my sister (Emily) and I took in July 1996. On this trip, I drove all but maybe an hour of the trip (age 16, driver's permit in hand), in a car that lost its air conditioning before we ever made it to Bakersfield (yes, the first of our 10 day tour). We were somewhere in the middle of the hellish Arizona desert. Phoenix was our destination that day. Why? I'm not really sure, but I can tell you that when we drove past a thermometer that read 113 degrees, I guarantee you I wished the soaked seats in my mom's car were a pool and not my sweat. On the way to Phoenix though, I ran over what looked like a squirrel or chipmunk. It's possible with the heat though I was hallucinating, because until that day, I didn't know that rodents could survive in the fiery desert.




2. As the first chair flute in the Grossmont High School District Honor Band, I, like all of my other band mates were forced to drive to the high school furthest from my own. This was the high school in the "country" of San Diego. My Camry could handle pretty well. She was a great first car. But that day I defiled her by running over what I thought was a rope rolling across the off-ramp bridge. I did not think I needed to use the great handling feature that came standard on the Camry. But no, no. This was no rope. I looked in the rear-view mirror after hearing a horrendous thump under the car. Magically, the rope split into two pieces. Hmm...silly snake. Snakes can't out run a Toyota.




3. I went on a field trip in my ex-mother-in-law's rental car at my ex-brother-in-law's wedding in Desert Hot Springs (just outside of Palm Springs). I can't remember why I went out, but I remember what happened when I came back. I will never forget that sound. Never want to hear it again. You would think that in the desert someone would figure out how to turn the heat of the night into electricity. This main road had hardly any street lights. As a result of this fact and my super speediness, I didn't have a chance to stop for or swerve away from what looked like a cute, healthy tabby cat. R.I.P. Kitty Kitty.

So, back to the original reason I started writing this post. Recall, if you will, Evidence A. Jen has never been in an accident that she was responsible for. Until Friday, November 14, 2008. It is an inexcusable accident. I blame it on my missing fish-eye mirror I had on my driver's side mirror until that day. I was so excited to go to lunch with my co-worker Tricia, I started backing out of my work parking lot (the only way to get out is to back out). Next, I blame this accident on my 32" tires. My truck is the hottest 1994 Toyota 4Runner on the Wasatch Front and no matter how bad my gas mileage is, I LOVE my 32" tires. But with my little woman's syndrome, I should think about looking down instead of straight back, for those less fortunate than myself who drive low-profile vehicles. Last but not least, I blame my co-worker's questionable parking job: 3 feet from the curb next to my building in an imaginary parking spot. So, on the bright side, I've learned this valuable information:

1. Japanese vs. German--The Japanese will always win.
2. Having 32" tires and Little Woman's Syndrome isn't always a negative thing.
3. Those who have said: "They just don't make cars like they used to" knew exactly what they were talking about. And to think I used to make fun of them. (Although the whole "I walked 15 miles to school in the worst blizzard to hit this region in 100 years barefoot and without a shirt or earmuffs" speech is getting a little old. ;)

Here is the proof of the aforementioned point #1.

THE WINNER

As you can see, well not really because let's face it, my cell phone was made to be a phone, not a camera. At any rate, my truck has a little less paint on about a 2"x2" spot just below my slightly broken tail light. In addition to that, I have a slight dent on the corner of my bumper and a bent tail pipe.

THE LOSER

This further confirms the aforementioned point #1. So, um, to all of you VW Passat owners--How do you feel about that crash test rating now? Because I'm pretty sure I wasn't going more than 1 MPH in reverse. But then again, thank goodness for my 32" BF Goody's and a factory tow package.